tpjc carnival cum open house. success?

personally, i'm nt sure wat 2 say. de turnout din seem 2 b fantastic or anything of dat sort. i seemed 2 haf seen more tpjcians milling around than ppl from outside. which of coz is rather saddenning. esp aft all de hard work dat evryone had put in..yea...plus my frenz din even cum 2 gif their support...so much 4 their ok. only sharifah de bday gal came n she had 2 lose her camera. wat's wrong wif tpjc?

anw, i wd like 2 oso say sorry 2 evryone whom i snapped at yesterday or scolded or wateva lah. i realised now dat wen i get angry, moz of de time is i'm actually juz real angry at myself. n i relli regret wat i did at de carnival. i wished i had not been so wishy washy n stayed firm. i hate having regrets. n i keep on thinking n thinking abt it. plus i oso made shafirah angry.

basically. i came a lil late ah. supposed 2 report at 8.30 but i came at abt 9 instead. den, evrything went on fine till i realised dat i din haf enuff time 2 finish up de posters. idiot. den, some ppl started coming in n all. so, i was helping farhana xplain her xperiment n den i xplained mine. den wen varun was not at his coloured shadow booth, i oso tried xplaining wat i rmmbr from how varun xplained it. anyhow, at abt 10.30 sharifah came n i went out 2 meet her ah. managed 2 leave her wif khai so i went back 2 my booth 2 help farhana. den vanessa was like missing de whole time ah. i din c her. she claimed 2 haf done publicity 4 our booth at d end of de day-ironic sia. she was not at her booth at all.

so, den me n farhana stayed till abt lunchtime n i was like real hungry alredi...starting 2 get headache from breathing onli de lt air. so, went 2 de canteen beli mkn kejap. den came back 2 our booth. xplain xplain agn n wat not...den cant rmmbr wat time but farhana ajak me go out coz she say she cannot take it alredi. n i was penat ah n pissed off coz not evryone was doing their duty plus dere was one pt of time, many ppl were in de lt n making so much noise i couldnt xplain 2 my audience properly. i relli wonder wat ppl's impression of tpjc was. so freaking irritated at dem. oh n managed 2 find out how 2 work vanessa's experiment coz varun tried it out. so, i showed d audience dat as well coz i tot it was an experiment worth watching.

basically, i left the booth wif farhana. EVEN THO I WAS FEELING BAD. like farhana kept on saying she din care anymore coz she was pissed off but actually i wasnt 2 de point of not caring yet. i wanted my booth 2 b a success. i wanted 2 b at my booth at all times, so much as i want 2 visit other booths, i oso wanted ppl 2 come 2 my booths. n i relli, hate myself now 4 leaving de booth. coz me n farhana was out 4 very long. n wen we came back, a short while later we went out agn 2 buy food. den, bile balik, dah kene pack up n all n shafirah was super mad alredi. ice creams had 2 b given away. y? coz there was no one at all the booths bsides varun, 2 ask qns n 2 give out tokens. n i was freakingly mad at myself 4 leaving de booth. yes.

so...i dunno wattodo but tpjc open house did not leave a great feeling 2 me. coz wat i did was wrong. shafirah has all the right 2 b mad at me. even tho farhana was telling me dat actually shafirah was oso roaming abt. but my argument in me is. so wat? SO WAT IF OTHERS WENT OUT? i shd haf known my OWN RESPONSIBILITIES n stayed in the lt. no matter wat, i'm very much at fault. compared 2 de fun i had 2 a certain xtent, my regret is bigger. hence, overall...i dono wat 2 say abt d open hse. in my opinion i did a terrible job even tho i had de passion 2 man my booth properly. HAD the passion. amal doesnt know how 2 think 4 herself. wat an idiot.