haha...still notorious...i reached sch at 8am 2day! haha...which is late lah. ape lagi? but i managed 2 join in 4 d ACES workout. hehe...tapi cepat seh de moves...i couldn't quite catch up. hmm...den, my whole claz masuk chem lambat. like a period lmbt. which is like 40 mins later. bagus eh kiteorg? heh...

hmms...concert! de concert was very fun! haha...i enjoyed it very much. tak sia2 ku dtg skola. at least ade jugak highlight of de day. =) yea...wow...shafirah was dancing! haha....lawa seh...n fatin as usual...she rocks lah! her voice so power...=)

lepas skola, went out 4 lunch wif fatin n farhana. yay! fatin can finally go out wimme...=) den, me n fatin went 2 take neoprints 2geder. fatin's in luv wif de photos..hahakz...

n so, 2day was overall a not bad day. yea. oh n we met a lot of ppl 2! i met my juniors, humairah n narishka...hmms...n siape2 lah lagi...

these kind of days juz make me feel happy 2 b in tpjc. aitez...tata 4 now!

i could hardly bring a smile 2 my face 2day. juz felt very bland. wasn't feeling happy, wasn't feeling sad. juz neutral. apparently, i wasnt talking much 2day too...farhana was oso not talking much 2 me so..yea...juz kept quiet...

i feel notorious dis days...skipped sch on fri n i skipped PE 2day 2 go home earlier. n den, i go 2 sch 2day oso...juz 2 sleep ah apparently...was sleeping in almoz all my classes. *sighs* esp chem lecture. plsplspls...sum1 remind me not 2 eva sleep irregularly at nite. gosh...i shd know myself by now. i cannot sleep too late or b awake in de middle of de nite. idiotidiotidiot.

wokae...n, so, basically, i'm moodless 2day. actually it was since yesterday nite. oh wells. wateva. bye!

it hurts. it HURTS. IT HURTS.

i dun care? ya rite...YA RITE...

i luv 2 go madrasah...i enjoy going 2 madrasah....but...i've yet 2 get as close 2 allah as i used 2...i want 2 b a gd muslimah. i wish 2 b a gd muslimah. but haf i been doing my duties? wen was de laz time i was khusyuk in my solat? n yesterday, ustaz was talking abt qiamat. abt how dere might b a solar eclipse n lunar eclipse happening in ramadhan n so, if dat happens, it's supposed 2 b another tanda dat qiamat is very2 near...or shd i say...extremely near..

am i prepared? no. i'm not. as simple as dat. i'm trying...but is dere enuff time?

my mum went off 2 indonesia yesterday...anw, i dun tink i'll b staying back de whole of nxt wk 2 study or aniting...i seriously think i shd b at home 2 supervise my siblings...yea...i juz realised how stressful it can b 2 b de one in charge...makes me relli admire my mum. haix...i miss my mum. 9 more days 2 go.

can i juz flunk de physics tez 2day? coz i'm so not prepared 4 it...i mean..wat was i doing wen i was supposed 2 b studying yesterday? use de comp..hah...bagus skali amal. amalkan slalu. haix...n wat am i doing now? on de comp agn. i'm idiotic.

hmms...well, all de bez 2 me! heh.

cool eh? i'm still awake. so gonna die later in sch....now, i only haf abt say 2 hrs of sleep...if i go 2 sleep now. yea..i'm nuts.

btw, i'm back here coz i tink i finally got myself back. 2 a certain xtent dat is. i feel more me. so, yea, update time. heh.

n so, had dis pw interview thingy wif de manager of hertz, a car rental company...oh gosh~ de manager is like suuuper nice. she even offered us drinks ah...but we refused...so tak baik liddat....n summore...she actually msged syamim saying she can't make it or some sort but apparently, syamim din bring her hp n so, she actually came back 4 us. wow! admirable eh? n one more thing!! she gave us dis hertz limited edition some sort of toy car? i mean it's not meant 4 playing lah i guess...but seriously...it's so cool!!! heh. jakon eh?

anw, yea. shyam was so amused at de fact dat i'm so childish. haha...oh, n i went back 2 rgs juz now n collected my yrbk n shyam was like, "amal, u look more matured den...u look so different. u look like a woman." haha...wat crap n i was like oh, so now i look like a girl? den he sed yes so i was like well, i like being a girl! n he was going, u're 17 alredi. n i stuck out my tongue...haha...wonder where i got dat habit from eh? *looks at abg* haha...

oh...n apparently, making stars n enjoying it is childish coz i'm 17. relli eh? alah..but i like. haha...n i was making stars in de mrt n trying 2 teach shyam n he was soo embarassed i guess dat i actually forced him 2 make a star. in public summore.

yea, i guess i can say dat i had fun 2day. n dis was wat i was tinking during maths lecture "clouds of depression still exist but de rainbow in de sky overshadows it" n yea, if u guessed dat i wasn't paying attn, erms..yea, u were rite. obviously. i need 2 focus...start 2 behave more like a student. which reminds me dat i haf 2 go out of house in 3 hours time so wat am i doing here? go sleep 4 2 hours lah! bye2! nite2! eh, no! morning2! =) haf a gd day ppl!

bye2 world.

*screamz* i'm going bonkers!!! seriously...who am i kidding? i'm still pretty much stressed out. n i honestly do not know wat 2 do abt dat....mcm mane nak de-stress? wen will i learn 2 smile n laugh agn..? sumhow, i juz dun understand myself.

life now is abt study, study, study...but datz madness seriously...coz i'm half mad alredi...i relli can't take it...i dunno how else 2 motivate myself...i'm going crazy juz planning n going more crazy trying 2 carry out de plan. i am an ordinary gal. i need some life too..BUT i juz dunno how 2 relax anymore.

i've 4gotten how itis 2 take things lightly, i've 4gotten how itis 2 smile n laugh freely at jokes n wif de ppl around me. i've 4gotten how 2 relax, how 2 even do the things i like. i juz feel as if i'm turning in2 a robot. i'm so tense n serious. n i keep on being angry at ppl including myself i tink...i've yet 2 call my operator. NO TIME.

i'm confirmed mad.

sumhow i've juz lost my identity..part of me has changed without my permission. i can't seem 2 find my old self...n i dunno wattodo abt it..do i embrace it? do i try 2 search summore 4 de missing part of me? i juz feel like i dun recognise myself anymore..dat i haf 2 get 2 know myself all over...hmms...yea...

"a girl looks prettier wen she smiles"

*smilez* thanx..

2day-ade national day celebrations!! whee~ haha...borrowed my dad's baju n my adik's seluar 4 dk perfomance...gosh...dk galz hancur! =( but i did haf fun 4 awhile on stage...n i was singing along wif fatin 4 de finale...n aina as well...haha..n we posed 4 some pics!! ehh...i so mepek lah...bawak digicam 4 de 1st time skali terlupa nak bawak battery...dngz betul lah....spoil je...

hmm...den, lepas celebrations semer, n oso after gp remedial or wateva u call it, me, aina n farhana went 2 mkn lunch 2geder...=) lepas tu, we took neoprints! haha...yea.. gosh...queue panjang gilerr...well, wat do u xpect? half-day lah katekan...

oh n i juz realised dat i din c khai at all 2day...hmms...khai...u owe me a song...bilelah kau nak gi online...

la di da di da~! as i told her farhana juz now...i'm over de moon! muahaha...

i promised i wun cry anymore...yepz, n 2day is de day where many ppl contacted me...i juz felt...happy? no more tears...starting afresh...let me emerge! haha...k, i'm mad...tata!

i figured part of myself out alredi..i tink..hah...yupz...

i ate ice cream 2day n mkn blackpepper chicken rice..haha...datz de nicest story 4 2day..yupz...=)

wen will i stop crying? hopefully yesterday's de laz day...

amazing tau...i cried 4 times smlm...

ikandahfarotinutellastarsorion'sbeltmcdonalds
photosstudyingphysicsmathschemschlibicecream
jokeskfclamenesseastcoastchangibeachwdlndslib
eastpointpopulartampintangan2spaheart2hearttalks
1682.4beztimingsajakbdklibmknminumlepasmkn
morninggreetings4wardedsmseslate

bangbang...i'm still confused.

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Apakah yang harus ku lakukan? Aku sendiri tidak pasti.
Siapakah yang boleh memberiku jalan penyelesaian bagi masalah ini?

Nyehk...i'm such a crybaby...
know wat? i'm not surprise if i'm on de verge of losing all my close frenz...i tink i'm de one at fault...
i seriously dono who i am...it's freaky...

memori bertandang lagi,
plop, plop, plop
titisan demi titisan..
yang beku itu mula cair
patutkah aku mengalah?

a fun, funny day...

came 2 sch wif khai n hazi-khai's dad hantar..

whee~ sang college song!

had my hair styled in scorpion style..(as sed by jeremy)juz 4 2day's claz photo taking...ahakz...

photos taken using my camera which is NOT digital....weird....so, now, i hafta finish up my film...

embarassing moment at audi during physics lecture...*grinz sheepishly*

had hml at lib n i finished up my overdued hmework...yay! finally!!!

syafiqah seemed amused at my hairstyle...hehe...she tot it was nice! thank u...=)

did some maths tutorial...den went 4 break...

was sleeping in hml...sshhh...tak tahan matelah..

pw, went 2 lib n slack! haha...was listening 2 some songs n watching jeremy do card tricks...did i eva mention dat i can sumtimes cheer up by spending time wif my pw grp?

yea...had lunch break 4 onli 10 mins so, decided 2 buy de sch waffle...hmm..oklah...=)

gp....watched presentation...

maths...did tutorial...

physics lab...wah seh...y i so slow? summore de very stupid...took 3 sets of readings wen evryone else did onli ONE..

stayed back in sch 2 do tutorials...namely physics...oh + copy notes 4 de maths lecture i missed out due 2 manifestasi...

took pics!! hahaha....coz nak waste film pe...twas cool! kat lib lagi...hehe..

sempat pergi beli waffle sebelum balik n took photos wif kak weit...=)

sampai rumah dlm kul 10.30....kene marah...haix....

now...SLEEP...my bed is waiting...bye!